Day 9

Day 9 – This morning my dog woke me to walk him while it was still dark and I was groggy, wanting to stay in bed longer. 

He pulled me down the sidewalk. I was still rubbing my eyes,  when I saw a woman approaching. I managed a sleepy smile to which she responded with a robust “Good morning!” and a giant, loving grin. That was nice, I thought.

As I kept walking, the next person I encountered said the same thing, not with quite the vigor of the first, but very friendly. As it kept happening, I looked down at my little dog to see if there was something cuter about him today than other days, something to elicit such open friendliness from each passing stranger on a Tuesday morning. Cute little dogs tend to soften people, naturally, but this was something more. By the time I got home, I was brimming with joy and shinning my own a huge grin for anyone I walked by.

Truly, your mornings shapes the rest of the day. Your outlook begins when you wake up. A popular mindfulness practice used for achieving greater happiness, presence, reducing stress, increasing productivity, manifesting, creativity, etc. is to start your day, before you get out of bed even, by expressing gratitude for what you have.

I don’t remember if I actively did this or not, but generally when I get up, I greet my pets in the morning. I’m filled with the joy of their presence, which easily feels like a new gift each day, I tell them good morning, I love you, I’m so glad to see you!

As I said, nothing was different about my dog today. Nothing is different about today, today. Except, today I sold my engagement ring. It was not easy to do. I briefly considered it before, when my ex-husband got a new girlfriend, and the ring seemed to mock me, but I didn’t follow through. And the ring was SO pretty. The prettiest thing I’ve ever been given. I sensed that somewhere inside of me I actually believed it was the only one that I’d ever receive. 

But fuuuuck that. I loved it and I let that shit go.

Not until I was driving home from Beverly Hills, re-listening to Tara’s aforementioned Hope podcast, did I remember the deluge of friendly faces this morning. I realized that kind, loving start to my day had fortified me. When I walked into that high-rise to have my ring evaluated and resold, I felt supported. Then, as I sat there in the office admiring its sparkle and feeling wistful, I suddenly got very tired of looking at the sad, beautiful thing that no longer served its purpose, its promise for a future that didn’t work out, and I was ready to be done with it.

It’s not sad, just a story already told.

The consigners swept it away and into their ownership; all I felt was total liberation.

I texted my best friend about what I’d done and how it would help fund my adventures abroad. She said, “you go girl.” I will!

Here’s the note-to-self doodle I made to remind me about this particular bit of symbolism, so I can include it in the essay I’m working on.

And one of the foxy gemologist.