Jan. 11
I took this picture when my friend Debra and I went to Doug Aitken’s “Electric Earth” exhibit at MOCA when I was in LA. This piece, NOW, is made of wood, mirror, and glass. The description/explanation says, “…the term ‘now’ is slippery, unstable, and transient, as ‘now’ quickly becomes the immediate past. On one hand, by virtue of its mirror-clad surface, the viewer is fully integrated into and reflected in the sculpture’s present moment…On the other hand, linguistically NOW ensnares the viewer in an inexhaustibly repetitive, elusive tense.”
I’ve been thinking about this. Yes, time is experienced in contradictory ways. And it’s not just the “now” that’s slippery, but much of time can be broken down into now, never, and always, interchangeably. The more salient point I’m trying to make is, what is the purpose of now? I made a new year’s resolution to myself to do what is hard. I’ve noticed it usually manifests as making myself do something when I think of it, now, instead of putting it off. I also think about now in terms of forgiving myself, forgiveness generally and absolutely, and forgiveness as love and empathy across the world in the now.
A line from one of my favorite books, says “one is loved because one is loved.”*
Applying this to our existence and its relationship to time, it seems to touch on that idea of accepting who you are and where you are without qualifiers. Being you now is to be loved because you are loved.
It’s kind of like how the phrases, “don’t try” and “give it your all” seem conflicting, but aren’t. Time is slipping away or time is infinite. Both. What do you want to give and what do you want to get from the now, from this very moment? A sense of peace, perhaps?
I found the entire exhibit disturbing, which it’s intended to be, I guess. Images of LA traffic and apartment buildings, ubiquitous and disembodied. The film of feral animals in motel rooms made me SO sad. There’s a beaver in a bathtub (not what you’re thinking), rabbits on a bed, and a deer nosing through a refrigerator full of packaged drinks it can’t access because they’re sealed in plastic. That was the one that got me. How we’ve perverted and shut ourselves out of the natural world, and in these scenes, the natural world from itself.
But then Terry Riley played a couple of nights at the exhibit and my brother said it was beautiful. Electronic music fits the vibe, something from nature but slightly removed.
In Berlin news, it snowed a bunch today. I stood by the window watching it like a real Californian or a child. While rain is loud, snow is quiet. It makes me feel peaceful. Good things like coffee and blankets and hot showers are made even better.
Tomorrow I’m seeing Robert Wilson’s “Shakespeare’s Sonnets” performed by the Berlin Ensemble. Looking forward to it!
Good night. I love you.
From a few days ago
From today
30 Days to Berlin 